Almost Naked Children Inside Of Walmart

When Tony & I were walking towards the door inside of Walmart to leave, after we had bought some groceries, this dirty, shoeless, shirtless, little boy that I'd say had to be about 12 years old came in and grabbed a cart. The child was absolutely filthy!!! If that child was my kid, he'd be clean AND fully dressed before I would even THINK of taking him inside of a store-- ESPECIALLY Walmart, because it is the nastiest of stores as far as cleanliness goes in my opinion!

Stupid Traffic Because Of The Weather Video

Loaning Mone & Other Thoughts

Now, here's something that's rare  --  me posting 2 blogs in this account on the same day!!  lol.  I just had something that I wanted to share here with all of you and I think that you'll agree with what I say in this below video here.

Now, just so you know, I talk about tipping, drug tests and other things here, but I just have some thoughts that I felt needed to be in this blog too.  I hope that you enjoy watching the below video!!

Tipping Videos

Hello All:

Here's something that I wanted to share with all of you today and it's about tipping.  There's not only videos from me, but videos from others that are talking about the tipping opinions, etc. here.

Well, enjoy the below and keep an eye out for other blogs from me here.  I hope that you enjoy the below.

First Music Video Attempt

Hello All:


This is an example of what I was talking about the the video that I posted in here recently and I wanted to share it with all of you today. Let's face it, my hubby, (who is the man in this video) is a wonderful person and I unconditionally love him. Tony is WHY I made this video in the first place and I wanted to share it with everybody, because I will love Tony until my dying day!

Public Service Announcement And Rant About Anti-Music Law

Hi All:


Here's something that I wanted to share with all of you here. Granted, I know that it's been a while since I've shared my thoughts with all of you in this way with a public service announcement on this blog, but considering that things that are moving through Congress right now, it gave me something really to talk about here.


Enjoy watching the following video! I hope that you all also contact your sentators and representatives to get the law that I'm talking about in this video here!

New Vatican Rules And Some Thoughts About Those Rules

Hello All:

I just wanted to share this below video about the Vatican changing its rules on child abuse.  I say "It's about darn time!!  It took them long enough to at least get this much put together!!  I just wish that the Vatican had done a whole lot more than what they did, but at least this is a start!!"

I know that certain people here might have the impression that I am bashing the Roman Catholic Church.  Let me clarify my thoughts on the Catholic church and the people who are Catholic  --  I do not dislike Catholics or what some of them stand for  --  it is the fact that I do not like what some of the stuff that they believe!!

As I mention in the below video, I know for a fact that there are "Certain people" out there that love to lie on me and twist shit up that I say either here on blogger or over in you tube to people that know me personally, then go and repeat these lies to others that know me as well.  I have made my mind up in relation to these "Certain people" and I want to say it here in writing, so you can't say that you didn't even see it here in blogger  --  if and I mean if you don't like what I say below, do not go to certain other people and lie on me  --  get your head out of your butt and call me on the phone directly, instead of calling up those other people that you like to call to lie on me to those others here!!  If I find out that whomever has done the lying on me has done so, I am so going to sit you down with Tony and the afore named others that you lied to on me and you're going to have some serious explaining to do on your hands with all of us in person and no, you are not going to be getting out of the conversation in person with me either, because I am not going to allow you to continue lying on me behind my back any more!

With all of that said, here is the video for you.  Let's just say that, well, "It took them long enough over there in the Vatacn to figure it out here!!"

Learning How to Fight the Collector

On Friday April 23, 2010, 10:44 pm EDT

Among debt collectors, Steven Katz is known as a “credit terrorist.” For years, he has run what he calls the Steven Katz School of Bill Collector Education, otherwise known as the “credit terrorist training camp.”

Mr. Katz, a 58-year-old accountant in suburban Tucson, spends his free time schooling debtors on the finer points of consumer protection law to help them turn the tables on debt collectors. On occasion, he thumbs his own nose at them too.

 

“How many times can I sue you? Let me count the ways,” he wrote under his pseudonym, Dr. Tax, in a March posting on Inside ARM, a debt collectors’ Web site.

A former bill collector himself, Mr. Katz rebelled after a debt buyer damaged his credit score with what he says was a bogus bill. Mr. Katz sued, and in 2003 he collected his first damage award, a $1,000 check that he now keeps framed behind his desk.

“The bill collectors, when they call, make you feel like the only option you have is to lay down and play dead. That’s not true,” said Mr. Katz said, who does not charge for his advice. “Nothing validates this more than getting a check.”

Call this movement revenge of the (alleged) deadbeats. Even as collectors try to recoup debts from millions of Americans struggling to pay their bills, a small but growing number of lawyers and consumers are fighting back against what they describe as harassment, unscrupulous practices — and, most important to their litigiousness, violations of the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act.

In fact, 8,287 federal lawsuits were filed citing violations of the act in 2009, a 60 percent rise over the previous year, according to WebRecon, a site that tracks collection-related litigation and the most litigious consumers and lawyers on behalf of debt collectors.

On Wednesday, the Supreme Court made it even easier for consumers to use the courts to fight debt collectors, ruling that collectors cannot be shielded from suits by claiming they made a mistake in interpreting the law.

When a consumer stops paying a bill, creditors often try to collect on their own for a few months. In many instances, the creditor hires another company to collect the debt. In other cases, they may dispose of the debt by selling it to a debt buyer for a steep discount.

Debt collectors and debt buyers are the targets of litigious consumers, since the debt collection law primarily applies to third-party collectors.

Peter Barry, a Minneapolis trial lawyer, is so bullish on the future of debt collection litigation that he holds several “boot camps” each year to share his secrets with other lawyers who want in on the action. If the debtor wins a court case under the act, the debt collector must pay the lawyer’s fees.

The next boot camp is being held in early May in San Francisco, at a cost of $2,495 a person for two and a half days of instruction.

“I can’t sue every illegal debt collector in America, although I’d like to try,” Mr. Barry said.

Mr. Katz can also claim some credit for the increase in lawsuits. For six years, he has run a free Web site called Debtorboards.com, where people share tips on topics like keeping a paper trail and recording calls from collectors.

He said the site received two million hits in 2009, a 60 percent increase over the previous year.

“Debtorboards is geared to help people use the laws as they are on the books as both a shield and a sword,” said Mr. Katz, who says he has won $36,000 from his own litigation against collection agencies. (Since many of the settlements are confidential, it is difficult to prove the claims of Mr. Katz and others).

Of course, debt collectors are hardly pleased with the litigation trend.

Rozanne M. Andersen, chief executive of ACA International, a trade association for the debt collection industry, said she was “extremely concerned” about the increase in lawsuits, which she said cost her industry hundreds of millions of dollars a year. She said much of the increase was the result of ambiguous language in the Fair Debt Collection Act.

Debt collectors are required, for example, to identify themselves on a voice message left for a consumer, she said. But they are also prohibited from telling a third party — including someone who might overhear a phone message — about a consumer’s debt.

“We are between a rock and a hard place,” Ms. Andersen said.

Ms. Andersen said she had little patience for Web sites that encouraged consumers to thwart debt collectors.

“We believe those types of Web sites are encouraging people to not take responsibility for just debt,” she said.

Jack Gordon, who runs the fee-based WebRecon site, said it was no wonder lawsuits were increasing, because consumers were being bombarded with ads from lawyers when they searched online for information on debt collection. He said the proliferation of discussion sites like Mr. Katz’s had, to a lesser extent, also contributed to the trend.

On the boards, he said, “There’s a lot of hot air, a lot of people who overinflate their accomplishments.”

Regardless, Mr. Gordon’s database has become a badge of honor among the devotees of Debtorboards.com. As Brandon Scroggin, a 37-year-old from Little Rock, Ark., puts it, “That’s one list I’m a proud card-carrying member of.”

Mr. Scroggin, who provides price estimates at a body shop, said he was the type of person who refused to be taken advantage of, even for petty offenses. For instance, years ago, he said he joined in the class-action suit against the pop group Milli Vanilli, accused of lip synching, and collected a $1.25 check.

After a messy divorce, Mr. Scroggin was stuck with a $7,000 bill that he said belonged to his ex-wife. Instead of paying it, he began researching the law and stumbled on Debtorboards.com.

Armed with lessons he learned on the site, he demanded proof of the debt from the collection agency, and the calls stopped. But two and a half years later, they started up again so he sued the collection agency, National Loan Recoveries, for failing to provide proof of the debt, among other things.

The case was settled in 2008. The terms were confidential, but he says he never paid National Loan a dime. “Let’s just say I’m a very happy person,” he said. A lawyer for National Loan, Kathryn Bridges, did not return messages seeking comment.

Mr. Katz said his Web site was not intended to help people avoid paying legitimate debts. But if they do so, so be it — he feels no need to apologize.

He said Congress gave consumers certain rights, and he is simply making people aware of them, sometimes colorfully.

As Mr. Katz says at the bottom of each Dr. Tax posting, “A telephone in the hands of a collector is like a crowbar — it can be used to pry a mouth open wide enough to insert a foot.”

Barbara Thompson, 46, of Atlanta, said she challenged $11,000 in credit card debt using online research about collection laws. She does not dispute the debts but reasons that the credit card company wrote off her charges long ago. By her account, she owes the credit card company, not the debt collector.

“The credit card company, they sell it off, they charge it off, it’s just business as usual,” she said, adding, “I’m adamant about not paying a collection agency.”

Opinions On Crime, Among Other Things

Hello All:

I just had this below play list that I wanted to share with all of you tonight.  In this play list, I talk about everything from the ACLU to lethal injection.  I also include a video from a friend and subscriber of mine over in you tube  --  his screen name is MadBadVoodo and in the video that I have of his here on this page, it also talks about corporal punishment in this play list.  I follow that video of MBV's with a response to his video with my own response about corporal punishment as well.


I will be adding to this play list as time passes to include everything from "How to protect yourself from _____," (such as identity theft, slander, etc.) as time passes, so please keep an eye out for stuff like that here!  I hope that you enjoy watching this below play list!!  :)

Pay Garnishments Rise as Debtors Fall Behind by John Collins Rudolf

Thursday, April 1, 2010

 

PHOENIX -- When the bank sued Leann Weaver for not paying her credit card balance, her reaction was typical for someone in that situation. Personal and financial setbacks weighed her down, and she knew she owed the $2,470. So she never went to court to defend herself.

She was startled by what happened next. When she swiped her debit card at the grocery store, it was declined. It turned out Capital One Bank had taken $224.25 from her paycheck, a quarter of her wages for two weeks of work at a retail chain, and her bank account was overdrawn.

"They're kicking somebody who's already in the dirt," she said.

One of the worst economic downturns of modern history has produced a big increase in the number of delinquent borrowers, and creditors are suing them by the millions. Concern is mounting in government and among consumer advocates that the debtors are not always getting a fair shake in these cases.

Most consumers never offer a defense, and creditors win their lawsuits without having to offer proof of the debts, much less justify to a judge the huge interest charges and penalties they often tack on.

After winning, creditors can secure a court order to seize part of the debtor's paycheck or the funds in a bank account, a procedure called garnishment. No national statistics are kept, but the pay seizures are rising fast in some areas -- up 121 percent in the Phoenix area since 2005, and 55 percent in the Atlanta area since 2004. In Cleveland, garnishments jumped 30 percent between 2008 and 2009 alone.

Debt collectors say they are being forced into the action by combative debtors who dodge attempts to settle. "I think there's a lack of accountability among debtors, and a lack of interest in reaching out to their creditors to resolve things amicably," said Fred N. Blitt, president of the National Association of Retail Collection Attorneys.

Bankruptcy can clear away most debts. Yet sweeping changes to federal law in 2005 -- pushed by the banking lobby -- complicated that process and more than doubled the average cost of filing, to more than $2,000. Many low-income debtors must save for months before they can afford to go broke.

In some states, courts allow creditors to charge high interest rates for years after a lawsuit is decided in their favor. In others, creditors can win lawsuits by default and seize wages and bank accounts without a case ever appearing before a judge.

Lack of participation is the most fundamental problem. Some consumers do not even know they are being sued; the people who are supposed to serve them with formal notice have sometimes been caught skipping that step and doctoring the paperwork.

In far more cases, consumers are served but still do not offer a defense. Few can afford lawyers; others are intimidated or confused. In their absence, judges can offer little relief.

In the rare event that a consumer battles back, creditors frequently lack the documentation to prove their claim, and cases are dropped. That is because many past-due debts are owned not by the banks that issued them, but by debt collectors who bought, for cents on the dollar, a list of names and amounts due.

"If the consumers were armed with more education about how to defend against these debts, they'd be successful," said Jeffrey Lipman, a civil magistrate in Des Moines.

The case of Sidney Jones shows how punishing the system can be. In January 2001, Mr. Jones, 45, a maintenance worker from California Crossroads, Va., took out a $4,097 personal loan from Beneficial Virginia, a subprime lender now owned by HSBC, the big bank.

He fell behind, and Beneficial sued. Mr. Jones did not appear in court. "I just thought they were going to take what I owed," he said.

By default, Beneficial won a judgment of $4,750, plus $900 in lawyers' fees, with the debt accruing interest at 27.55 percent until paid in full. The bank started garnishing his wages in March 2003.

Over the next six years, the bank deducted more than $10,000 from Mr. Jones's paychecks, but he made little headway on his debt. According to a court order secured by Beneficial's lawyers last spring, he still owed the company $3,965, a sum nearly equal to the original loan amount.

Mr. Jones, who did not graduate from high school, was baffled. "Where did all this money go that I paid them?" he said.

Dale Pittman, a consumer law lawyer in Petersburg, Va. , took Mr. Jones's case without charge, and found that all but $134 of his payments had gone toward interest, fees and court costs. "It's a perfectly legal result under Virginia law," Mr. Pittman said.

HSBC said it ceased collection shortly after Mr. Pittman took the case, but declined further comment. "We are confident we are treating our customers fairly and with integrity," Kate Durham, a spokeswoman for HSBC North America, said in an e-mail message.

The rare debtors who press their claims, and catch a sympathetic judge, have a shot at a result more to their liking.

Ruth M. Owens, a disabled Cleveland woman, was sued by Discover Bank in 2004 for an unpaid credit card. Ms. Owens offered a defense, sending a handwritten note to the court.

"After paying my monthly utilities, there is no money left except a little food money and sometimes it isn't enough," she wrote.

Robert Triozzi, a judge at the time, heard the case. He found that over a period of several years, Ms. Owens had paid nearly $3,500 on an original balance of $1,900. But Discover was suing her for $5,564, mostly for late fees, compound interest, penalties and other charges. He called Discover's actions "unconscionable" and threw the case out.

Discover defended its actions. "This account was placed with an attorney only after all other efforts to reach the card member were exhausted," Matthew Towson, a bank spokesman, said in an e-mail message.

Going to court is no guarantee of victory, of course. Consumers who do go are sometimes intercepted by collection lawyers, who press them to sign papers settling without a trial. These settlements may be against the interests of debtors, but they sign anyway.

"We're signing off on a lot of settlement agreements where we shake our heads and ask, 'Why is this person settling to this?' " Judge Lipman said.

For the working poor, losing a lawsuit can mean disaster. A 1968 federal law exempts 75 percent of a worker's wages, or 30 times the minimum wage per week, from being taken in garnishment -- whichever is less. But increases in the minimum wage have failed to keep up with inflation. As federal law stands now, just $217.50 a week is exempt from seizure. (A few states set higher cutoffs.)

The working poor "have difficulties maintaining payments on life's necessities with their full paycheck," said Angela Riccetti, a lawyer with Atlanta Legal Aid who represents indigent clients whose wages are being garnished. "You lose 25 percent of it and everything folds."

For Leann Weaver, the woman at the grocery store, Capital One's lawsuit made a bad situation worse. After being evicted from her apartment, she moved in with her grandparents. Without them, she might have ended up on the street or in a shelter, she said.

Capital One declined to comment on Ms. Weaver's case. "We encourage anyone facing difficulties meeting their financial obligations to contact us right away," Tatiana Stead, a bank spokeswoman, said in an e-mail message.

Ms. Weaver said she repeatedly asked Capital One for more time to pay her $2,470 debt, but last year the bank filed suit. She failed to show up in court, and a judgment was entered against her, swollen by $1,800 in interest and lawyers' fees. Then the garnishment began, almost $500 a month, or a quarter of her pay.

"I can't even look at my paychecks any more," she said.

Something Strange In Cincinnati, Ohio That I Thought That I Would Share With You All Today

Suit: Panera in Springdale discriminated against blacks

By Janice Morse • jmorse@enquirer.com •

 December 31, 2009

Butler County man alleges Panera Bread fired him from its Tri-County location because he refused to stop hiring African-Americans.

In a lawsuit filed in federal court in Cincinnati, Robert McFarland of Middletown, who is white, said he was fired in July from his manager's job at the Springdale Panera after he hired qualified African-American applicants for jobs.

McFarland alleges that his boss instructed him in December 2008 to "stop hiring African-Americans" and to "clean up: the restaurant's image by terminating the employment of African-Americans."

McFarland's lawyer, Dana Luther, says she has evidence to support McFarland's allegations.

"He had nothing to lose by doing what they said. He would have kept his job. But he refused to abide by what they were telling him to do," Luther said. "He's white and he wasn't going to stand for discrimination. I find that very commendable. That took a lot of courage, and it cost him his job."

Parties named in the Panera suit either declined to comment or couldn't be reached Thursday.

Luther said several black employees of Panera "stepped down" rather than face firing in light of the alleged discriminatory policy.

McFarland has also filed a claim with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, and she believes at least one other person may have done so.

In the suit, McFarland seeks a permanent injunction forbidding Panera from engaging in retaliation. He wants Panera to put new policies into place that "eradicate the effects of its past and present unlawful employment practices," the suit says. McFarland also wants Panera to pay his back pay with interest, compensation for his losses, punitive damages and lawyer's fees.

McFarland had been general manager of the Panera located at 405 E. Kemper Road.

Luther said McFarland's firing from Panera has made it difficult for him to find other employment, but she wasn't sure Thursday whether he remained unemployed.

No dates have been set for the case in U.S. District Court, Cincinnati.

Post Christmas Thoughts & New Year Wishes For You Today.

Hello All:

I have a video here that I just thought that I would share with all of you today.  Granted, the video is a little strange, but I just found it interesting and wanted all of you to see it today.

Below is the video for your viewing pleasure.  I hope that all of you have a safe and Happy New Year 2010!!

Oh, poor baby!! You're rich, you robbed somebody, then you got caught -- get over it!

Facing prison, Astor's son bares private life

NEW YORK (AP) — The son of New York philanthropist Brooke Astor is facing prison for looting his mother's millions — and he's making a surprisingly personal approach to stay free.

Anthony Marshall's sentencing is set for Monday, but he's trying to get a judge to throw out the part of his October conviction that requires at least a year behind bars. His lawyers say any prison time could kill the ailing 85-year-old.

Marshall didn't testify or call even one witness at his five-month-long trial.

Now he's detailing his medical problems, professional accomplishments and sometimes sad childhood in court papers. More than 70 supporters have written to the court.

Prosecutors say Marshall is making a cynical effort to dodge consequences for his crime.

Here's Another Good One For You All Tonight.

Brett's Blog: Out of Bounds: Dealing with People Who Break Boundaries

October 30, 2009

by Brett Blumenthal

Most people have a sense of what is and isn’t appropriate when it comes to respecting boundaries. However, we are bound to find individuals who don’t. These people are abusive…and if we don’t deal with them properly, they will continue to break boundaries time and time again.

As much as we strive for healthy relationships, we inevitably encounter individuals who are bullies, toxic or just plain manipulative. Some of these people KNOW what they are doing, but often, most “just don’t get it:” They have little-to-no self-awareness and feel that they are fully entitled or appropriate in their behavior. And what’s worse is that they frequently get away with it because others don’t stand up to them. This enables boundary breakers and convinces them that their behavior is acceptable. Here’s a news flash: It ISN’T.

The best thing you can do is firmly establish boundaries. You’ll feel better about yourself and your relationship. Further, you won’t have to succumb to their inappropriate behavior over and over again:

1.Know Who You Are Dealing with: The first step in this process is to identify those individuals who don’t respect your boundaries. Doing so will keep you on the look-out for times that boundaries need to be reinforced or put into place.

2.Tune-in: Start paying attention to how these people typically break boundaries. Some questions to ask: Are they pushy? Do they ask questions you feel uncomfortable answering? Do they discuss things with you that are inappropriate? Do they disregard your wishes or needs? Do they always prioritize their needs before yours?

3.Trust Your Gut: If you aren’t sure as to whether or not a boundary is being broken, stop thinking and start feeling. Does something feel awkward, uncomfortable or wrong? Can you feel an adrenaline rush, but aren’t sure why? Do you feel nauseous during the discussion? At times, our guts have better listening skills than our ears. If you can feel a visceral reaction to the conversation at hand, you can be pretty sure that something isn’t right.

4.Think First, Speak Second: Once you realize boundaries are being broken, think about how you want to react. Reacting without thinking through your position and what you want as an outcome can lead to an unresolved situation, potential “room for discussion” or more broken boundaries down the line.

5.State Your Position: Tell the person who is breaking a boundary that they are indeed breaking a boundary. Sugar-coating it…hemming and hawing…playing nice…politely saying no…often doesn’t work with people who perpetually break boundaries. Unfortunately, many of these boundary breakers don’t have a clue as to the fact that they are crossing a line. The more obvious you can be, the better.

6.Don’t Back Down: If the person continues to push you on a topic, tell them the topic “isn’t up for discussion.” The more you stand your ground, the less likely the person will continue to try to push you on things in the future. No means no. Inappropriate is inappropriate. And, boundaries are boundaries.

The more you set boundaries, the easier it will get. Do you have boundary breakers in your life? How do you handle the situation?

I just thought that I would share this below article that I saw online with all of you tonight!

5 Behaviors of Manipulative People user

by Brett Blumenthal - Sheer Balance, on Wed Dec 2, 2009 9:40am PST 421

Many of us like to think the best of people. We like to think that they shoot straight and are forthright in their intentions. We also like to believe that they will ask for what they want and not resort to crazy tactics to get it. Unfortunately, however, there are times when we come across those who will do whatever it takes to get what they want…including manipulation. Being manipulated never feels good, but the worst part of manipulation is that often, we don’t even realize that it is happening. Here are a few ways to know if someone is trying to manipulate you:

Buttering You Up: To get their way, manipulators will often make you feel good so that they can then ask you to do something that they want. The person may first compliment you or tell you what a wonderful job you did on something. Making you feel good will, in their mind, make it difficult for you to say no…after all, you wouldn’t want to disappoint them or give them reason to think you didn’t deserve the compliment in the first place. What you can do: Return the compliments and the niceties before saying no.

Guilt: This doesn’t only pertain to Catholics and Jewish Mothers; guilt trips have been a successful manipulation tactic for centuries. The saddest part of this strategy is that the victims of this tactic succumb to the manipulators’ demands because they feel they HAVE to, not because they WANT to. In personal relationships, this sets up a co-dependency that is extremely unhealthy. What you can do: Ask the individual if they want you to do something because you have to or because you want to. If they say they want you to want to do it, tell them that you don’t and that they are trying to force you into something you don’t feel comfortable with.

Broken Record: Probably the most obvious of formats is the broken record tactic. If a person asks you enough or pushes their agenda enough…constantly repeating the question or request over and over again…in slightly different ways, the victim will inevitably give in and give them what they want. Oye! What you can do: Ask the individual what they don’t understand about the word “no.” Tell them that asking you over and over again isn’t going to change anything and that they are inappropriately over-stepping boundaries.

Selective Memory: This one gets me the most. You swear you have a conversation about a plan and everyone is on the same page, and then one day, the manipulator pretends to remember the conversation completely differently, if at all. What you can do: Record your conversations…seriously! Okay, maybe not. At least have a witness that you can count on to back you up if the person pulls this shenanigan. Call them out on the fact that they conveniently change the game to fit their needs.

Bullying: If a person doesn’t get their way, they make you out to look or feel like the bad guy…like you are the wrong one. What you can do: Be firm and tell them that their bullying tactics are inappropriate and unacceptable.

Keep your eyes open for these behaviors and continue to stand your ground to ensure that you aren’t a victim of manipulation. Have you seen any other types of manipulative behavior?

One of these personalities reminds me of somebody that I know personally here.

Brett's Blog: 8 Toxic Personalities to Avoid

April 28, 2009

by Brett Blumenthal

Although we like to think that the people in our lives are well-adjusted, happy, healthy minded individuals, we sometimes realize that it just isn’t so. Personally, I’ve had moments where I’ll be skipping through my day, happy as can be, thinking life is grand and BAM, I’ll be blindsided by someone who manages to knock the happy wind out of my sails. Sometimes it is easy to write it off and other times, not so much.

Maybe you are a positive person, but when you are around a certain individual, you feel negative. Or, maybe you have an idealistic view of the world and when you are with certain people, you are made to feel silly, unrealistic or delusional. Or, maybe you pride yourself in being completely independent and in control of your life, but when you are around a certain family member, you regress into a state of childhood.

Some of these situations, and yes, these people, can have a tremendously negative impact on our lives. And, although we are all human and have our ‘issues,’ some ‘issues’ are quite frankly, toxic. They are toxic to our happiness. They are toxic to our mental outlook. They are toxic to our self-esteem. And they are toxic to our lives. They can suck the life out of us and even shorten our lifespan.

Here are the worst of the toxic personalities out there and how to spot them:

1. Manipulative Mary: These individuals are experts at manipulation tactics. Is a matter of fact, you may not even realize you have been manipulated until it is too late. These individuals figure out what your ‘buttons’ are, and push them to get what they want.

•Why they are toxic: These people have a way of eating away at your belief system and self-esteem. They find ways to make you do things that you don’t necessarily want to do and before you know it, you lose your sense of identity, your personal priorities and your ability to see the reality of the situation. The world all of a sudden becomes centered around their needs and their priorities.

2. Narcissistic Nancy: These people have an extreme sense of self-importance and believe that the world revolves around them. They are often not as sly as the Manipulative Marys of the world, but instead, tend to be a bit overt about getting their needs met. You often want to say to them “It isn’t always about you.”

•Why they are toxic: They are solely focused on their needs, leaving your needs in the dust. You are left disappointed and unfulfilled. Further, they zap your energy by getting you to focus so much on them, that you have nothing left for yourself.

3. Debbie Downers: These people can’t appreciate the positive in life. If you tell them that it is a beautiful day, they will tell you about the impending dreary forecast. If you tell them you aced a mid-term, they’ll tell you about how difficult the final is going to be.

•Why they are toxic: They take the joy out of everything. Your rosy outlook on life continues to get squashed with negativity. Before you know it, their negativity consumes you and you start looking at things with gray colored glasses yourself.

4. Judgmental Jims: When you see things as cute and quirky, they see things as strange and unattractive. If you find people’s unique perspectives refreshing, they find them ‘wrong’. If you like someone’s eclectic taste, they find it ‘disturbing’ or ‘bad’.

•Why they are toxic: Judgmental people are much like Debbie Downers. In a world where freedom rings, judgment is sooo over. If the world was a homogeneous place, life would be pretty boring. Spending a lot of time with these types can inadvertently convert you into a judgmental person as well.

5. Dream Killing Keiths: Every time you have an idea, these people tell you why you can’t do it. As you achieve, they try to pull you down. As you dream, they are the first to tell you it is impossible.

•Why they are toxic: These people are stuck in what is instead of what could be. Further, these individuals eat away at your self-esteem and your belief in yourself. Progress and change can only occur from doing new things and innovating, dreaming the impossible and reaching for the stars.

6. Insincere Illissas: You never quite feel that these people are being sincere. You tell a funny story, they give you a polite laugh. You feel depressed and sad and they give you a ‘there, there’ type response. You tell them you are excited about something and you get a very ho-hum response.

•Why they are toxic: People who aren’t sincere or genuine build relationships on superficial criteria. This breeds shallow, meaningless relationships. When you are really in need of a friend, they won’t be there. When you really need constructive criticism, they would rather tell you that you are great the way you are. When you need support, they would rather see you fail or make a fool of yourself.

7. Disrespectful Dannys: These people will say or do things at the most inappropriate times and in the most inappropriate ways. In essence, they are more subtle, grown up bullies. Maybe this person is a friend who you confided in and uses your secret against you. Maybe it is a family member who puts their busy-body nose into your affairs when it is none of their business. Or maybe, it is a colleague who says demeaning things to you.

•Why they are toxic: These people have no sense of boundaries and don’t respect your feelings or, for that matter, your privacy. These people will cause you to feel frustrated and disrespected.

8. Never Enough Nellies: You can never give enough to these people to make them happy. They take you for granted and have unrealistic expectations of you. They find ways to continually fault you and never take responsibility for anything themselves.

•Why they are toxic: You will spend so much time trying to please them, that you will end up losing yourself in the process. They will require all of your time and energy, leaving you worn out and your own needs sacrificed.

All of these personalities have several things in common. 1) the more these people get away with their behavior, the more they will continue. 2) Unfortunately, most of these people don’t see that what they do is wrong and as a result, talking to them about it will fall on deaf ears, leaving you wondering if you are the crazy one. 3) Most of these people get worse with age, making their impact on you stronger with time.

Frankly, life is too short to spend your time dealing with toxicity. If you can, avoid spending mucho time with people who are indicative of these behaviors and you’ll feel a lot happier. Have you encountered these personalities? What have you done? Any personalities you would add?